Choking on a Lifesaver
by dsf42
Summary: A trip to Tropical Land opens Conan's eyes to the truth he so loves. Maybe he really just needed to face that night from so long ago to think with a clearer mind. Why the hell am I panicking..?
1. Panic

**If you guys don't like to read my blabber, skip to the last paragraph for information on Tropical Land.**

**Yay! A new story!**

**Oh gosh, I bet the people who follow my other stories want to kill me right now. -_- I'm sorry, but I have no excuse other than a writer's block. Though for Behind Glinting Glasses I'm well on my way to finishing, I don't want to post any other chapters until I've actually finished the whole story. So don't worry, it'll probably be finished within this year. But for my other unfinished stories, consider it on hiatus until further notice.**

**Agghhh, I hate my studies right now. I swear, my marks are getting worse.(I have to admit I've been slacking WAY more than I used to) but still, it's pretty depressing, considering I'm already under manic depression. -_-**

**ANYWAYS! About this story.. Pretty much inspired by a scene in OVA 9 (Prior knowledge not required) where a seventeen-year-old Conan is running all around Tropical Land searching for Ran, but instead of finding her, he's bombarded by memories of the day when he was shrunk. It always saddened me watching that OVA.. So I'm writing my take on how Conan/Shinichi feels about the place where he shrunk.**

**Though I do kind of feel like this is more of a character interaction story... I'm thinking of trying to grasp at the character's attitudes a bit more so it seems more plausible that each scene in the story would actually happen. You know what I mean? ANYWAYS!**

**A little information on Tropical Land: For those that have watched _Captured in Her Eyes, _you know that Tropical Land is divided into five divisions: Just past the entrance; _Dream and Fairytale Land. _The place where the _Jet Coaster Murder Case(Episode 1) _occurred, _Horror and Fantasy Land. _The place where Conan confessed to Ran(_Movie 4__), Wild and Ancient Land. __Adventure and Pioneer Land. _And finally, where Shinichi shrunk into Conan(In the manga, Shinichi found Vodka and the CEO guy behind the Ferris Wheel) and also where the fountain Shinichi showed Ran is(_Movie 4_) _Science and Space Land._**

**_DISCLAIMER: _I do not own the series, nor the characters. This is just harmless fiction. *cue innocent smile*  
**

* * *

"_Let's go!"_

Three awfully loud voices shouted in the hush of classroom 1-B, where students were currently eating their respective lunches in unusually quiet tones for normal seven-year-olds. In the middle of taking a bite out of his sandwich, Conan glanced with unhidden trepidation to the scheming children. Calling out, he asked, "Where?"

Startled, as if what they were planning was a secret, the three real-kid members of the Shounen Tantei-dan looked at Conan with jaw-splitting grins, "To Tropical Land, of course!"

Conan frowned, "It's almost winter, you know. It's awfully cold if we go there now."

Ayumi huffed, face set in determination as she glared at Conan with doe eyes, "But we haven't gone in so long!" she whined.

"She's right!" the two boys behind her agreed. Continuing, Mitsuhiko added, "It's not like there's a crime for wanting to go there in the middle of fall, is there?"

"Well, no.."

"Exactly!"

"But, who's gonna be taking us? We can't just go there on our own."

Mulling over this new problem, the three kids made a huddle from where they stood beside their conjoined desks. Ai was silently watching the unfolding of a new adventure, while Conan stared at them with a bit of apprehension. _It's only a matter of time before they actually find someone willing to chaperone us, _he thought with a frown.

Genta called out, facing Conan with his fore finger jutted out towards him almost like how Conan would point to a criminal after a detailed deduction, "Takagi can!" he shouted, surprisingly not getting the attention of Kobayashi-sensei who was busy cleaning up after one of their classmates spilled her juice all over the desk, "or Shiratori!"

"They're police officers, Genta," Conan pointed out, "I doubt they'd have the time to babysit a bunch of kids."

"That's right, Genta-kun, we only go with them during cases and we only meet them accidentally, after all." Mitsuhiko said, glaring at the fat boy, "We should think this over." He said, frowning as he lost himself in thought, before finally, "How about the Professor?"

"The Professor is going to a convention for the next week." Conan pointed out once more, earning pouts from the children, "It seems there's no one els—"

"There is." Ai cut in, speaking for the first time since lunch started.

"What do you mean, Ai-chan?" Ayumi asked as she walked over to where the little scientist sat, "Do you know someone that'll go with us?"

She snickered, looking at Conan with a smirk and a twinkle in her eye, "Who do you think is the sweet kind girl that would say yes to such a request?" she asked as she turned her gaze to the contemplative three.

With that statement, only one person came to mind, "Ran-oneesan!"

Conan face-palmed himself, glaring at Ai as she smiled at him, "You seem to have a problem with Tropical Land, Edogawa-kun. I wonder what it is."

"I do not." He said with as much dignity as he could muster. _At least I'd like to think I don't._

_That Afternoon…_

"Sure!" A happy Ran piped up, "I don't see why I can't." She smiled, staring down at the five children huddled at the front of the Mouri Detective Agency door.

"Yay!" the three children shouted, giving each other high-fives, one silently smirking and one just about ready to bury himself six feet below the ground… dead or alive.

"Can I take Sonoko with me though?" She asked with a frown on her face.

Ayumi nodded, "Of course!" she grinned up at Ran, "We just need someone there after all."

"Then I'll call her." She muttered to herself, standing straight, "How's Saturday sound for you guys?"

"Yes, please!" All three piped up.

Ran smiled once more, "Then why don't you guys stay for dinner as well?"

_-dsf-_

_Saturday. Tropical Land. Dream and Fairytale Land._

"I don't get why we're here babysitting, Ran." Sonoko muttered as she hugged her jacket closer to herself. (Conan thought that she wouldn't be cold if she actually wore pants instead of a flimsy skirt.. Agh, women.)

"Tell me about it." Conan muttered to himself as he stood beside Ran.

"What?" Sonoko asked, leaning down to narrow her eyes at Conan, "Did you say something, gakincho?"

He sweatdropped, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, "N-nothing, Sonoko-neechan!" he chuckled nervously, "I said that this is gonna be the best day ever!" he screamed, turning to the three bouncing-in-place children, "Right?"

"Yeah!" They screamed, turning to Ran with puppy eyes, "Can we go now?" Ayumi asked, "We can give you one of our badges just in case!"

"Well, I don't think it's a good idea for us to split up." Ran muttered, arms crossed on her chest.

"Ehhhh?!" the three whined.

"Just let them, Ran." Sonoko sidled up beside her, grinning, "They can take care of themselves. They've been in worse situations, haven't they?"

"Yes, but.."

"Then it's settled!" She pumped her arm up in the air, the thought of boy hunting gearing her up, before turning to the children with a reprimanding look on her face, "Go along, just make sure you call when something happens or when one of you gets lost, get it?" she glared.

Conan ignored her, digging trough his pockets and pulling out his Detective Badge. Walking up to Ran, he handed it to her, "Here you go, Ran-neechan." He smiled at her before turning to the children, "Shall we go?"

"Yes!" the three children screamed, dragging Conan and Ai off towards the section holding Horror and Fantasy Land.

"Let's go on all rides!" Genta declared once they weren't running anymore. Mumbling as his gaze landed on different rides, he stopped once his eyes landed on the Mystery Coaster, "Let's go on that one first!"

Mitsuhiko moaned, "We almost got in trouble when we sneaked in there the last time!"

"That was only because someone died and we had to sneak in since we didn't have money!" Genta argued, raising his fist in a silent threat, "Besides, Ayumi wanted to go on that ride before, right Ayumi?"

She nodded before turning to Conan and Ai, "What do you guys think?"

"I don't care." She smirked, "Why don't you ask Edogawa-kun?"

They all stared at Conan as he gazed up at the big bold letters adorning the cave entrance to the Mystery Coaster with a blank expression, "..Conan-kun?" Ayumi called out, tapping him on the shoulder, "Is something wrong?"

Out of his trance, Conan shook his head, grinning at the child in front of him, "I'm fine, Ayumi-chan," he said, looking back up at the sign on the entrance, "I'm fine with going here, if that's what you're asking." He stated, walking ahead of the group and into the line. _Why the hell am I panicking..?_ He admonished himself, staring ahead as the children's chatter caught his attention.

"..We met Shinichi-oniisan here for the first time, you know." Ayumi said, smiling at Ai with the excitement of a child opening a present, "He was so cool solving a case... We didn't see it though, ne, Mitsuhiko?"

He nodded, "That was because of you, Ayumi-chan!" He chided, though smiling, "You wanted to sneak in here instead of going home!"

"That's because.. Well, you guys were too scared to even ride this before!"

"That's why we're going to ride it now!" Genta exclaimed, cutting in between the other two.

"Let's just go." Ai piped in, giving the children a look that stopped further conversation and walked to stand beside Conan as he got closer to the start of the line, "Say, Kudo-kun," she whispered, bringing her mouth closer to his ear, "is this the place?" She asked, the normal teasing voice gone from her tone, replaced only by the constant fearful tone when it involved Them. Gauging his reaction she leaned away from him, watching as he tried hard to ignore the question. She sighed, looking at the batch before them climb into the steel cart, "This is quite a fitting place to do some kind of exchange.." She muttered, knowing full well the idiot detective was listening, "After all, no one would expect an underground organization to come to an amusement park."

Finally getting an answer from the quiet boy, he said, "Yeah.. But They didn't expect me, either."

"Who didn't expect you, Conan-kun?" Mitsuhiko asked with a frown as he and the other two came closer to Conan and Ai.

Not even bothering to bring up a childish façade, he sighed as he pointed to the coaster that was rolling in carrying disheveled park-goers, "Look, it's our turn."

"I call front!" Genta called out, dashing even before people got out of the cart.

"I call the seat beside Conan-kun!" Ayumi said, grabbing said boy's arm and wrapping herself around him.

"Well, I guess I'll just sit beside Haibara-san..." Mitsuhiko mumbled, a blush staining his cheek as he fell in step beside the stoic scientist.

Strapping in, the attendant called out safety instructions and soon the monster-like steel snake was on its way to the first drop, the three children shouting at the top of their lungs, Ai tightly closing her eyes and Conan bombarded by the images of Shinichi and Ran at the same ride, a smiling Ran beside him as she gripped his hand tight, _"I really was looking forward to this, you know."_ and the drop came.

* * *

**Haaaha. Another multi-chapter story... but it's already finished, so there's no need to worry about stupid unexpected hiatus-es. So tell me what you guys think so far.. Though I doubt you have any comments about the plot as of yet since all we have in this chapter is jumbled up character interactions. -_- Expect the next chapter in two or three days. :)**

**If some things aren't clear, leave a review or PM me, and I'll try my best to answer... I'll tryyyyyy.**


	2. Scream

**Ahh. Second chapter up within days of the former.. I feel slightly accomplished. xD**

**Anyyyywaaaaayyss, let's see you guys' confused reactions for the 2nd chapter. :D**

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Several rides later, and the sun stood proud and bright in the middle of the sky, time had moved forward in great speed as the children finished the rides from _Horror and Fantasy Land_ and _Wild and Ancient Land_. Now, they sat(except for the two not-children who preferred to stand) in a bench leading to _Adventure and Pioneer Land_.

"I don't feel so good.."

"Me neither."

Ayumi pouted, crossing her arms on her chest as she leaned back on the bench they were sitting on, "Mou!" She complained, "And you guys said we're gonna ride all the rides! We're not even halfway through!"

"Maa, you can't blame them, Ayumi-chan," Conan chuckled, watching the two children sitting on the bench, while he stood in front of them, breathing heavy and looking pale, "At least they tried their best to keep up with you." He said, walking to a nearby vending machine and buying two bottles of water. Walking back, he handed both boys the water (both of whom chugged it down without preamble) and headed to stand beside Ai who stood looking around them beside the bench the three children were perched at, "You look tense, Haibara."

She gave him a look, one delicate eyebrow raised as she stared at him, "I could say the same to you, Kudo-kun."

He frowned, "I am not." He said indignantly.

"Whatever you say."

Static resounded from Ayumi's front pocket and the calming voice of Ran echoed, "Ayumi-chan?" She called out, "Where are you guys?"

"Ahh! Ran-oneesan!" Ayumi cried out, taking the echoing badge from her pocket and stood up from the bench to stand next to Conan and Ai as the two nauseous children sat slumped against each other, eyes closed, "We're still in _Wild and Ancient Land_." She answered.

"Then do you guys wanna grab lunch now?"

Ayumi looked to Conan, gauging what the shadow leader of the Shounen Tantei would want to do. He nodded, "Might as well take a break." He said, motioning to the two pale kids on the bench, "Besides, I doubt they can go on any longer."

She grinned then, "Alright, Ran-oneesan!"

"Just meet me and Sonoko at the food court in Adventure and Pioneer Land, alright?"

"Haaaaii!" She answered before clicking the badge off. Turning to Genta and Mitsuhiko, she called out, "Let's go! It's lunch time!"

Moaning in acknowledgement, they stood ever so slowly, trudging to where the other three members of the Shounen Tantei stood before heading off to _Adventure and Pioneer Land_, walking in an extremely slow pace. _I'm surprised the concept of lunch hasn't cured Genta_, Conan thought to himself, an exasperated smile on his face as he walked beside Ai in the back if the group.

"Over there." Ai pointed to the table which Sonoko and Ran occupied, chatting in amiable tones when the entourage of five children (two not-quite-children) arrived at the bustling food court.

"Ran-neechan!" Conan called out, waving a hand in the air as the three kids ran (two were stumbling) to the table, leaving the two not-kids walking in a sedate pace.

Once they reached the table, "...and then these two were almost passed out after riding the river rapids." Ayumi recounted to Ran and Sonoko, the latter laughing at the glaring two, "Then you called so we headed here."

"Well, we can always continue after lunch, you know." Ran said, digging through her purse for her wallet, "Plus, I think it would be best if you guys gave Genta-kun and Mitsuhiko-kun a break.. They look like they're about to fall over and faint." She giggled, standing up, "So, what do you guys want for lunch?" She asked as soon as Conan and Ai were settled down in chairs.

_-dsf-_

"Three, two," Ran counted off, their small group huddled close together within a circle, curious eyes gazing all around, wondering what was about to happen, "one!"

One by one, shoots of water shot out of the outer circle, startling Sonoko into a yelp, before actual walls of water formed just outside of their huddled circle. Conan smiled, remembering the first time he had shown Ran this fountain. Behind him, he heard a soft giggle escape Ai as she gazed in wonder at the spectacle she was witness to. Once again, he smiled, turning his gaze back to the view as laughter resounded all around him, slight sprinkles of water hitting himself and everyone. Ayumi gasped, delighted, pointing towards the sky where a small rainbow had formed above the wall of water. They continued to laugh until the water show was over, smiles pasted on their faces as they started walking towards _Dream and Fairytale Land_.

"That was amazing, Ran!" Sonoko clamoured, sniffling a bit as she grinned at her best friend, "Since when did you know that? And why didn't you tell me!"

Ran giggled, "Shinichi showed it to me the first time almost a year ago." She said nostalgically, eyes lost in a world only she knows. Shaking herself out of her reverie, she looked at the kids then back at Sonoko, "Well, it would have been a lot better if we weren't freezing right now."

"It's not that cold!" Ayumi said, smiling wide, "Besides, it was amazing that you don't actually get to think of how cold it was!"

Nodding, she smiled, "Mm."

"Anyways," Sonoko said, "Let's go skating!"

Three voices shouted their agreements, running ahead of the group and towards the castle structure situated in the middle of the theme park, Sonoko and Ran chatting while Ai and Conan walked ahead of them, holding their own conversation, "At least there's no murder dropping in on us like last time when she got amnesia."

Conan chuckled, placing his hands inside his pockets as he hunched from the cold, "Don't jinx it."

They settled into silence, Sonoko's obnoxious voice ringing out behind them. Ai sighed, looking to the sky filled with fluffy cumulus clouds, the Sun nearing the West horizon, "I'm surprised I'm actually enjoying this." She muttered absently, her voice a mere whisper.

Conan glanced at her, eyes softening, giving her a small smile before that smile turned into a smirk, "Ah-le-le?" He grinned his usual jaw splitting grin, watching as her gaze turn cold, glaring at him, "Is this Haibara I hear enjoying something a normal person would?" He laughed, avoiding her swipe to his head with a well-aimed punch. His laughter died down into chuckles as they approached the skating rink, the three children already waiting for them at the rental booth. He jogged ahead, avoiding Ai, and striking a conversation with the three kids.

She said nothing, holding her glare until his eyes weren't on her anymore before cracking a small tentative smile, "Maybe that's thanks to you, Kudo-kun." She whispered softly, unheard, as Ayumi ran up to her asking her shoe size.

Strapped in and ready to go, the group walked towards the skating rink in the awkward posture skaters usually get upon wearing the shoes. Ran and Sonoko went ahead, asking the children if they knew how to skate.

"It's our first time." Ayumi answered with a shy smile.

"All three of you?"

All three nodded, looking apprehensively at the oval of ice where some people glided and others just ended up slamming on their faces and buttocks. Mitsuhiko turned to the two not-kids behind him, "Have you guys ever skated?" He asked.

"No." Was Ai's simple reply, eyes cast towards the rink in her usual unreadable mask.

"I have." Conan said, not really thinking.

"You have?" Mitsuhiko asked, agape. The group's attention suddenly on him.

Blinking in succession, Conan stuttered, "W-with Ran-neechan and Sonoko-neechan!" He cried out, pasting on a smile.

Sonoko scoffed, "I wouldn't call that skating though."

Three curious children whipped their heads in silent question to the heiress.

Continuing, "A case popped up out of nowhere." She explained, stepping into the ice. Wobbly at first, she gripped the at the edge of the rink before talking, "And the chibi here didn't get much of a lesson from Ran."

"I don't think he needs a lesson." A new voice said.

Conan frowned, looking at Ran.

She smiled, stepping gracefully into the rink before pulling Ayumi and Ai in with her. They stumbled a few times, clutching at Ran's arms to keep from falling. She looked at Conan with a small grin, "You were quite the professional when you heard Sonoko scream."

"What?" Sonoko asked, baffled, "You mean when I was in the bathroom?"

Ran nodded, slowly letting go of the two little hands that kept a death grip on her. Ayumi let go first, giggling as she tried to move from her spot before stumbling and almost falling. Ai reluctantly followed, releasing her tight grip on Ran's arm. She stood, not moving from her spot before Ayumi pushed her on, both finally falling and landing on their behinds with giggles escaping them. Ran turned to the two boys left on the edge, watching as they paled and gripped at each other like their life depended on it. Grabbing their hands, Ran did the same thing she did with Ayumi and Ai, letting go once they've got a stable stance on the ice before turning to Sonoko, "When you screamed, Conan-kun skated so fast to get to you, you know." She giggled, motioning for a blushing Conan to get on the ice.

As Conan got onto the ice with as much grace as Ran did, Sonoko ruffled his hair, "That's so sweet," she teased with a grin, "And to think my little savior is little brat." She laughed, gliding away from him as he glared.

"But where did you learn, Ran-oneesan?" Ayumi asked, helping Ai get up from their fall.

She smiled, a daze going over her as she remembered the day Shinichi took her out to Tropical Land, "It was Shinichi." She muttered, loud enough for her companions to hear. Snapping out of another trance, she giggled, "Though I have to admit, there were times when he'd just randomly fall.. I'm not sure if that was just to make me feel better since I was pretty bad back then."

"Ahh, if only he was here!" Sonoko shouted, doing exaggerated hand motions and gaining a few looks from other patrons. "Such devotion, Ran!" She said, skating to a blushing Ran, "Though I still don't see what's got you so hung up on the detective geek."

"Well-"

Echoing cries rang out from the three children as they watched Conan slam hard on his back, pain etched into his face. Ai watched with a frown on her face, knowing full well his slip wasn't accidental.

"Conan-kun!" Ran called, gliding towards him, "Are you okay?"

He nodded,_ if it would get you to stop thinking about Shinichi with such a sad face, I will be..._ Instead, he said, "I'm fine, Ran-neechan," smiling at her from his seat on the ice, "But I think I'll just sit down by the bleachers."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

He shook his head, "I doubt Sonoko-neechan can handle all four of them." He grinned.

"Hey! I heard that!" Sonoko shouted at him.

They ignored her, Ran helping him up as they skated towards the edge, "If you're sure.." She muttered uncertainly, "Just call me if you need something, okay?"

He nodded, stepping out and avoiding the worried gaze Ran shot him.

_-dsf-_

"Great." He muttered under his breath, walking towards a nearby bench and collapsing. He got separated. He was just going to take a small walk around to clear his mind but when he came back, his group was already gone. He glared at the ground, "I don't have my badge and my phone's dead." He muttered, leaning back as he gazed to the sky, a glowing orange as the Sun started its descent towards the West, "Its not like I can use Shinichi's phone to call Ran.. That's just asking for trouble."

He stayed there unmoving for almost an hour, muttering constant profanities under his breath every few minutes, and yet, no one found him. He sighed, standing up as he gazed around; he was at_ Science and Space Land_ if the fountain was any indication... meaning...

He turned his gaze towards the big bright Ferris Wheel, its lights almost seeming like an endless emblem. An immediate anger filled him as images, _memories_, from the day he went with Ran appeared in his mind's eye. He moved, almost unconsciously, towards the small alley that lead to the base of the Ferris Wheel. He clenched his fists as he grew farther and farther away from the happy atmosphere of Tropical Land and falling deeper into the dark corners of his mind he never dared to explore. The anger that had filled him dissipated as soon as shadows fell all around him, this time filling him with bottomless dread. He gulped, stopping just past the surrounding buildings and into the grass a few feet away from_ the_ spot, closing his eyes as fear crept at him.. pulling at his skin.. melting his bones.. squeezing his heart...

He opened his eyes abruptly, wide and dilated, grabbing his head in both hands as he bit his lip, trying to stop the blood-curdling scream wanting to come out. He fell on his knees; images of men in black, red and white pills, blood, bursts of pain, _Ran_...

The hysterical agonizing scream tore away from his mouth. The tone not fitting for such a childish voice.

It was much worse than the transition of changing...

Breathing heavy, he collapsed on his hands, eyes closed tight as the rush left him, leaving him _weak and cold and vulnerable and tiny_ against everything.

With great effort, he crawled to the very spot he shrunk, twisting so he could collapse on his back, his breath turning shallow as he gazed at the now darkened sky, the stars obscured by the bright lights of Tropical Land.

"Damn it." He muttered just as his beating heart slowed to normal, a sort of peace coming over him. He reflected on what had transpired... Who knew he was so scared-no, _terrified_ of this place. The place where everything started, where Kudo Shinichi died, where Edogawa Conan was born, where-

"..Conan-kun?" A tentative voice called out, nervous and far away.

Startled, he jumped up, only to be overcome by a wave of nausea as he stumbled towards the wall of the back of the Ferris Wheel. Collapsing once more, in a sitting position with his back on the wall, he dragged his gaze up, coming to a face only inches away from his.. _When did she move closer?_ He thought distantly. Shutting his eyes once more, he smiled weakly at her, "You found me, Ran-neechan.."

* * *

**Ohh lordie. I actually feel like I didn't get my thoughts across on Conan's thoughts. I had this vivid image in my head of him screaming hysterically... but I somehow can't properly put it into words.. The closest I can think of is Ai's own scream during episode 176-178, when she changed back into Sherry. Or like Shinichi's back in episode 48-49, when he was changing back into Conan.. (Man, Kappei Yamaguchi truly is an awesome voice actor, that scream was... *shiver*)**

**Anyways... I hope the last chapter would clear some things for those confused. :)**


	3. Resolve

**Soooo, hi.**

**In this chapter, I incorporated Ran's perspective since I have something else planned for this fic. ;) Read the A/N at the bottom to find out. :)**

**IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER! ASDHJGASHJD! I finally finished a multi-chapter story! Yay! *cough* even though its pretty short. *cough***

**ANYWAYS! Second semester has started in school.. and guess what?! I got an early acceptance to my very first choice in University! YAAAAY! **

**Also. I just want to point this out just in case some people get pissed off at me for not replying to reviews and PMs. LOL. I'm sorry, between school, writing, finding a job and being hypersomnia-ic (I NEED at least 13 hours of sleep everyday. Its not even funny.) I can't find the will to reply to any of yous. But, just know from the bottom of my heart...**

**THANK YOU! YOU GUYS MAKE MY DAY! *kisses and hugs and glomps all of yous***

**And from time to time, the long criticizing comments some of you leave just practically makes my heart swell. I appreciate the inputs and the pointing out of mistakes.. it helps me A LOT. :) Again, thank you. :***

**So, without further ado... The last chapter of Choking on a Lifesaver!**

**DISCLAIMED.**

* * *

When Ran had heard him scream, she was frantically running and asking people if they saw a small bespectacled boy wandering around on his own. The scream had startled almost everyone in the vicinity of the sound wave, most people choosing to walk away as far as possible from where it resounded from.. but not Ran. She knew the voice (having concluded it to be Conan) and she was scared, to say the least. Conan had never screamed like his life depended on it. No matter what.

So with the thought of saving her wayward little brother from whatever it was hurting him, she ran towards the back alley, unconsciously noting that it was the same as the one Shinichi ran to the night he 'disappeared'. It never really registered with her; the only thought she had was Conan... and the sight she stumbled upon almost made her want to scream as well..

On his knees, the child looked like there was something killing him from the inside, blue eyes so wide Ran thought it was gonna burst out of its sockets. She was about to call out when Conan slumped on the ground on his hands and knees, crawling a few feet before finally collapsing; tired, dull eyes staring at the black canvas above them.

"..Conan-kun?" She cautiously called out, slowly making her way towards him.

The child jumped before grabbing his head in one hand, pushing at the bridge of his nose as he collapsed on the wall. Ran hurried her way towards him, looking him over for any bodily harm as he slowly brought his gaze up to meet hers, bringing in a small weak smile, "You found me, Ran-neechan.."

Ran bit her lip, gathering the even smaller looking child to her arms as she sat on the grass, encasing him in a tight hug as tears flowed down her face, "What happened, Conan-kun?" she asked the little boy that buried his face in the crook of her neck, "Did someone hurt you?"

He shook his head, his breathing uneven as if he was crying, yet Ran knew he wasn't, "..I just remembered something bad." he croaked, his voice sounding awfully hoarse. And from the scream he let out, she didn't doubt why it was so.

Shifting so that her back was leaning on the same wall Conan had been leaning on, she tightened her hold on the fragile child, noting the way he seemed to whimper ever so softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

For a while they sat in silence, happy chatter muffled by distance flowing towards them, and Ran thought that the bespectacled child had fallen asleep. Once she was about to stand, he spoke, in a voice far too weary and far too tired to her liking, "...I hate this place." he murmured, shivering slightly.

Ran frowned, _Why would he hate an amusement park?_ "Why?" She prompted, hoping that the child would let go of what was troubling him so deeply that it looked like it was going to kill him, "Was it because of some ride you went on?" She asked, and she almost scoffed at her words. This was Conan, for God's sake! If it was any normal child, she would've agreed, but she knew, deep down, that this child was _different_. That he had some sort of secret he didn't want the world to know.. and if he was willing to share it to her, she'd listen with everything she had and comfort him as he did her whenever Shinichi's lengthened absence took a toll on her.

"No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"This is where everything started." He whispered, almost too softly.

_Everything?_ She wondered to herself, choosing not to speak. Instead, she waited for the little boy to continue his monologue. She unwound an arm from Conan's frame to wipe the tear residues off her cheeks and eyes by the sleeves of her jacket, before returning it to its place around his shoulders.

This seemed to have encouraged Conan, choosing the moment Ran settled to speak, "...My whole life, I've set my future into something definite and attainable." He started, raising his arms that were hanging uselessly by his sides to wrap around Ran's neck, settling his cold hands on the nape of her neck, underneath her long hair. He felt her shiver slightly, tightening her hold on him even more, "The day I came here, everything came crashing down."

She hummed softly, closing her eyes as she leaned her cheek on the crown of his head, the unnatural cowlick that reminded her of Shinichi pleasantly brushing against her nose. _He smells like mint_. She thought absently, once more waiting for the child to continue.

"I was thrown from my comfort zone into somewhere I had no idea how to act." He murmured, his voice growing softer, "No one listens to me seriously anymore, I have to actually _deceive_ people and lie to them to get to the stupid truth.."

This caught Ran's attention. She frowned, opening her eyes a fraction as she gazed around them, trees and bushes obscuring them from view, yet, she stayed quiet, not wanting to disrupt the child unless he clams up again.

"But that doesn't even matter.. because at the same time, if it weren't for what happened, I wouldn't have experienced everything I did now." He said, fisting his small hands, sharp nails almost digging into the sensitive skin of Ran's neck, "I lost everything that mattered to me before.. but now, those things are just useless to me now. Fame, money.. all those stereotypical crap that make people happy." He ground his teeth together, making Ran wince at the painful sound, "And now I found things I'm gonna have trouble letting go off when Haibara finally makes that goddamned antidote.."

Finally speaking, Ran asked, "...You're sick, Conan-kun?"

He chuckled darkly, "Definitely sick."

"From what?"

He took the time to answer. He didn't even know why he was telling Ran all this when one slip could cost him his identity and her trust. When one slip and she would connect the dots showing that Edogawa Conan is the child-sized version of the Kudo Shinichi she knew. Though saying they were the same was probably stretching the truth already... He knew, as clear as water, that he wasn't that same person; the person the hogged all the fame he could get, that reveled in chasing down criminals for the adrenaline (though he did have that ever hatred towards murderers before that he had now, just not as pronounced), the person that _looked_ but never saw.. No, he was a kid before; a brat. He scoffed, the irony of his situation getting the best of him. How is it that when he actually shrunk, he became much more mature and weary than his older version? Especially considering his line of work. He shook his head, remembering Ran was with him, "Homesickness?" He said, unsure, "But I wouldn't actually call it that since there's only one thing I miss from my old life.."

"..Your.. old life..?" Ran repeated, "So you probably miss your parents, huh?" She asked, though her tone sounded as unsure as she felt. Conan never showed any kind of weakness regarding his parents. Its as if they never even existed. Startled out of her thoughts by his sudden laugh, she let go of him, unwrapping herself from his tiny body and staring at him with endless curiosity, "Conan-kun?"

"I haven't lived with my parents in a long time, Ran..-neechan," he said, catching his slip, standing and stepping out of her hold to stand a few feet away from her.

Ran frowned at the new information, much more confused with the mystery of Conan than she had been in the beginning, "Then what?" She asked, annoyance slipping into her tone.

_You._ He thought, smiling at her. He shook his head, "It's nothing."

She narrowed her eyes at him before an idea struck her, "Then," she started, "Which life do you prefer?" She asked, grinning her innocent smile that always made Conan blush and think naughty thoughts.

"Eh?"

"Which life do you prefer?" She repeated, bringing her face closer to his, "This one, or your old one?"

Conan blinked, he never really did think about that. Sure, he'd take the antidote as soon as it was available, but if he had to choose which life he would continue living; Kudo Shinichi's set life, where everyone he knew bowed to his every whim and especially with the unavoidable fame he would get when he took down the BO... but maybe he could ask Megure-keibu and the FBI to keep his name out? But then again, he wouldn't be able to graduate high school when he already missed a year.. Conan's life was fine, better even.. He's made friends-_real friends_-that would stick with him no matter what, he knew what being humble means, and the peaceful and carefree(if you didn't count the dozens of murders he came across with as well as the constant need to hide) life he lived was refreshing.. and it was tempting to just tell Haibara not to continue the antidote so he can start over... But, he grinned, looking at Ran with unbridled love, "..Where Ran-neechan will accept me, of course." He chirped.

Blinking, Ran swore she saw Shinichi instead of Conan. She shook her head, _not again. It isn't even plausible_... She smiled at Conan, "I'll accept you no matter what, Conan-kun," she assured, "Don't worry." She stood up, dusting her pants and grabbing her phone to text a quick message to Sonoko saying she found Conan.

Unbeknownst to her, Conan threw her a sad smile, "Promise?" He asked, knowing full well he didn't mean it.

Without looking away from her phone, her eyes softened, her thoughts on the little boy beside her as they took their first steps outside the muddle of grass they sat on contemplatively, reaching for his hand as she pressed the send button. She looked down at him, smiling a melancholy smile, "I promise." She said as they stepped back out into the crowd-filled walkways of Tropical Land.

Conan looked away, keeping his face blank as he stared unseeing to the front, "I'm not gonna hold you to it." He muttered softly as they rounded the fountain just as it shot its wall of water up once again.

Ran frowned, "Why?" She asked, "Is it because you don't trust me?" She blinked, she wan't exactly gonna ask him about trust of all things, but it suddenly slipped from her mouth. She cleared her throat.

Conan's head shot up to meet her, blue eyes narrowed in curiosity, but seeing the confusion written in her face, he grinned, "Of course I trust you!" He said, "Your the person I trust most, Ran-neechan."

"But why won't you believe my promise?"

He sobered from his grin, eyes filling with self-pity along with the world-weariness Ran had come to know from the child, "..You'll hate me." He whispered, enough for her to hear.

"Eh?" Ran frowned, stopping in her steps as she gazed down at the boy refusing to meet her gaze. Several times she'd seen him like this when he thought no one was looking, and in those times, she never saw a little bespectacled seven-year-old boy, but a person _so tired and so lonely_... "Who are you, really, Conan-kun?"

He looked up, deep blue eyes showing unhidden paranoia in a moment before disappearing as fast as it appeared. He smiled, not his usual grin, but a soft, languid smile that taunted her, "That's a mystery for another day, Ran-neechan.." He said, letting go of her hand and walking ahead.

"Conan-kun!" From the distance, Ayumi's voice called out, running towards the two solemn friends, Genta and Mitsuhiko right behind her leaving Ai walking in step beside a waving Sonoko. Coming up to him, she gushed, "We thought you got kidnapped!"

Behind her, Genta huffed, "And to think you call yourself smart."

_Since when did I call myself smart?_ Conan sweatdropped, just as Ran came up behind him, shooting him a concerned yet suspicious look, "Well, I just got distracted.." He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck in a show of embarrassment.

Sonoko came up to him a stern frown on her face, the grin she had focused on Ran gone as soon as she laid her gaze on Conan, "Well, I think we should've left you!" She scolded, pointing her finger at him in a jabbing motion, "You cost us an hour looking for you instead of fetching dinner and enjoying the rest of the night!"

About to get her thoughts across to protect Conan from the mean neechan, Ayumi opened her mouth only to be cut off by Ran, "Sonoko.. It's fine." She said in a consciously sad voice as she remembered the state she found him in, "It wasn't his fault."

Sonoko glanced at her with worry, noting the slight down tone in her best friend's voice. Ran shook her head, mouthing an 'I'll tell you later' that Conan didn't miss, before ushering the children to the exit. She was suddenly tired, and though she was sure the children didn't want to go home anytime soon, she wanted to keep Conan away from this place as much as possible.

No matter how she looked at it though, she didn't understand what the child had been spewing off just minutes ago. His old life? He was seven! And what the heck did he mean by her hating him? She shook her head, once again gaining a worried glance from Sonoko which she ignored.

As they rode the bus home, Sonoko chatting amiably beside her and the Shounen Tantei a few seats away from them, Ai and Conan talking in hushed tones, she felt something click within her. It was time she stopped ignoring what was tugging at her gut and face it head on.

She was gonna solve Edogawa Conan's case no matter what it took.

And maybe then, the child will finally let her in.

* * *

**Sequel?**

**Actually, as been seen in my past fics, I tend to partner up the cast with someone they rarely interact with or just normal canon shtuff. I was planning on Sonoko being the one to find Conan, but then, I'll leave it for another time, cause I have a different idea for those two. So I used Ran! Yay! Canon! xD Anyway, I am planning on a sequel, I just dunno when to start it. Plus, there's still Behind Glinting Glasses to finish (and the other stories on hiatus) soooooo, the sequel probably won't come up for the next few months.**

**Again, reviews and criticisms are greatly appreciated! :)**


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